Collaborative Carnage

Interlude: Somewhere in New Zealand

by Steve

Trial Run 0434.
Divergence from Prime: -1992
Divergence ID: None
Location: New Zealand
Local Date: September 2, 2000
Scanning........

"Look," argued Stephen, "I think I'd know better than anyone if a water moccasin had bitten me there! And that's another thing: I've lived here for years and I'm almost positive that New Zealand doesn't even have water moccasins!"

"But we can't take that chance!" insisted Rob. "Your life is at stake here! Now take off your pants so I can suck out the poison. Better safe than sorry."

"I'm already sorry," replied Stephen. "And as God is my witness, I swear to you that nothing bit me!"

"Sure, that's what they always say right before the agonizing spasms and irreversible neurological damage, and then it's too late. Next thing you know, you'll be posting messages to AGD asking where you can download a free full version of Diablo 2."

Stephen looked nervous and started to unfasten his pants. Then he stopped, "Why do I have to call you 'Daddy?'"

"Look, this isn't pleasant for me either," said Rob, exasperated. "I'm only doing this because I know you'd do the same for me if our positions were reversed."

"If our positions were reversed, you would be so out of luck it would make your head spin."

"Speaking of positions, could you straddle my shoulders?"

"For heaven's sake! What if somebody sees us?"

"Relax," said Rob. "There's no one here except that giant robot."

Scan complete. Shielding engaged. Primary attack systems charged and armed.
Secondary attack systems charged and armed.
Tertiary attack systems charged and standing by.

Initiating procedure....

Procedure complete/successful.

Analysis:
Damage to this unit=0%.
Damage to test target #1 / Target ID: Rob=100%.
Damage to test target #2 / Target ID: SvH=100%.
Environmental damage within 100m=100%.

Conclusion: Ready to proceed.

Continuity is served.

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