Mutation 33: Clash of the Titans

by Rob

Stagnant smoke from last night's party filled the nightclub as the crew tried to prepare themselves for tomorrow night's show. Lord Cool stood on stage with five L.C. robots acting as back-up singers. The sign above them read, "Cool and the Gang." He picked up the mike and started, "Do a little dance, make a little love, let's get down tonight."

"No no no," shouted Archmage Suave. "Those moves are all wrong.

We've been at this for hours and you still don't have it down."

Dressed in a purple satin suit Stupidhead the Weak sipped his drink and watched as Steve Dong walked through the entrance door. Steve yelled, "Rob, where are you! I know you're in here somewhere!"

Rob walked out wearing a black tuxedo and top hat. He said, "Hey Steve, what's happening."

"What the hell did you do Rob!" shouted Steve. "I worked really hard to fix this fanfic, now you've gone and shot it all to hell!"

"No, you ruined this fanfic. I fixed it. You see that whole fantasy-sci-fi thing was so overdone. It's getting cliché. So I went and fixed it. Now it's a story about a promising forties night club that's being used as a cover for drug trafficking, and Dolt Lungren the cop bent on taking them down."

"You've turned our beautiful fanfic into a Hollywood rip-off. This has been done to death."

"But never with a pink elephant."

"Why would you use a pink elephant?"

Rob said, "Well, I could have just created an ultra-destructive robot that with out reason or motivation goes around killing people and completely rearranging the plot, but oh wait, YOU ALREADY DID THAT!"

Just then the pink elephant exited the bathroom. Rob looked over and said, "While I'm on top of things, I haven't forgotten about the previous chapters, and now that you're back, I think you should screw my elephant friend."

"You can destroy this story Rob, but you can't make me do anything I don't want to."

Rob picked up his pen and started writing on a sheet of paper. Suddenly Steve felt his lips move against his will and say, "It's nookie nookie time."

Steve and the elephant went into the bathroom, and Rob listened with delight through the twenty minutes of agonizing screams. When it was over with Steve came out zipping up his pants and said, "And how did you get out of writers' hell anyways?"

"I saved a few pokemon inside myself," said Rob. "I used them to escape."

"Why didn't the Diaz stop you?"

Rob snapped his fingers and Cameron Diaz dressed in flimsy attire quickly latched on to his side. Rob said, "As it turns out, we have a lot in common after all. We're a little bit of an item now. She happens to be fantastic in bed."

"But don't worry," said the Diaz. "I brought someone for you too. My costar from my latest flick."

Steve saw Drew Carrey walk through the door and heard his mouth mutter again, "It's nookie nookie time."

Thirty minutes later Steve ran out from the bathroom with a twelve gauge and started shooting up the joint. Suave had his head blown off at the bar. Lord Cool laid dead in a pile of miscellaneous robot parts. Stupidhead the Weak was now in seven pieces and a dead Drew Carey was on top of the endangered pink elephant he so valiantly tried to save.

Rob walked in the room and looked around. Steve pointed the gun at him and CLICK. Steve scrambled through his pockets. He had run out of bullets.

Steve said, "I don't need a gun to take care of you, I'll take you down if it's the last thing I do you sick fuck." Steve removed a lag grenade from
the inside of his vest, and pulled out the pin.

Rob snapped his fingers and the Diaz quickly appeared at his side. He said, "I'm sorry Steve, but this is where we part ways."

A portal opened behind Rob and he fell backwards with the Diaz into whatever dimension it led to. Steve tried to run after him but heard, "DOLT LUUUUUUUUGREEN, Police," from the door way. Seeing the situation Dolt fired a shot which split through Steve and caused him to release the handle on the grenade. Then everything was gone.

Stroker let off a manical laugh, accompanied by his friend the Diddler at his side. Stroker said, "Now that this fanfic has really gone to hell, with no sense of direction left, the two of us have decided to take it over."

"Diddle me this Stroker, what green root makes the world turn, that takes on many multiple forms, that we should be careful not to burn, even though none our worth it's value."

"Why that would be money Diddler," said Stroker. "You see boys and girls, we have a bit of a problem. We're short on cash and because of it unable to conquer the world. That's why we need your pledge donations."

"I know what you're thinking," said Diddler. "Why would I want two evil super-villains ruling the world?"

Stroker pointed to a television monitor showing a picture of George W. Bush and said, "Would you rather have this guy in charge?"

"And wait until you find out his horrible secret," said Diddler.

"Pay close attention to monitor two."

A video started on monitor two. George W. Bush walked into a bathroom, followed by Steve Dong. Steve said, "It's nookie nookie time."

Then the president started pumping Steve.

Suddenly Kuperman burst through the wall and said, "Stop this madness at once evil super-villains and return this fanfic to the readers, or face Kuperman."

"But we know your little secret Kuperman," said Diddler. "Watch monitor three."

Monitor three began showing a video of Kuperman pumping Steve.

Kuperman said, "That's no secret. I've been open about my homosexuality since I first set foot into this story. And I have a special vendetta with gay-bashing super-villains."

A huge POW filled the room as Kuperman smacked Stroker upside the head. The Diddler said, "Diddle me this Kuperman-"

Suddenly a BASH! filled the room as Kuperman uppercutted the Diddler in the groin. The Diddler screeched, "Eeeee."

Kuperman said, "I'll admit I haven't heard that one yet." Looking around he picked the two super-villains up by their shirts and said, "It looks like it's time to take out the trash."

Kuperman threw the two out of the hole in the wall as a small piece of paper fell down from the sky. He began to read it, but was interrupted by, "Oh Stevie, yes, oh Stevie," from monitor two. Kuperman punched the TV screen and said, "I didn't want to hear that."

He continued reading the paper and said, "We at Collaborative Carnage sincerely apologize for the preceding silliness. We hope that it will never happen again. We now return you to your regularly scheduled fanfic, Collaborative Carnage chapter thirty-three, Clash of the Titans, already in progress.

Maximum Evil awoke. He was back in one piece now. He was in his correct body, and a full set of armor was covering him now. Reaching down to his side he felt the light saber he took from the Azure Drake sitting in his sheath. He was on a platform somewhere in the battle.net, but he wasn't quite sure where or how he got there. Then he heard a voice say, "You are a threat to the continuity."

Maximum Evil looked up and saw the mammoth machine looking down at him. He wasn't quite sure what it was, but he knew it probably wasn't going to be good.

The machine fired off a series of blasts and Maximum Evil flipped through the air gracefully dodging the lasers. The machine boasted, "You are a threat to the continuity, cease and desist at once."

"Someone has dared to send a mere machine against the infallible Maximum Evil," screamed Max. "You're gears shall burn in cinders as shall your master's heart."

As Max was reciting his monologue the machine fired a blast at his face and he felt his helmet sear on to his face. He tore off the mask ripping away his face and said, "You have yet to see the true power that evil holds."

Max brought forth the blade from his light saber and held the sword in his hands. Quickly the blade turned from a beam of light to a void of pitch darkness. As the machine began firing Max began parrying the shots with his sword. Suddenly the robot let out a blast of lag that caught Max offgaurd. He stood there unable to make any kind of movement to take a defensive against the machine. He saw a huge circle of energy appear in the robot's stomach that grew before becoming a massive laser beam which demolished everything in its path, mainly Max.

The robot said, "Continuity is served."

Thrown far off into the distance Max wasn't dead yet. He'd see to it that this creature was destroyed. His charred armor still smoking from the blast he yelled, "We aren't through yet."

The machine turned to see Max rushing towards it. It turned to see Max swing by and nearly graze it with his sword. Afterwards Max just stood in the same position, most likely exhausted from the attack. The machine readied for a full assault, and fired off every weapon at its disposal at him. And still Max just stood there.

Then a damage relay came to the Machine's main processor, "Warning, Lag tank has been damaged. Lag leakage in effect. Repair systems taking appropriate action."

Then another relay came in from the outward sensor, "Warning, system has been caught in Lag."

Suddenly Max appeared from behind and in a series of strokes sliced the machine into pieces. Then the lag started to leak out, a huge cloud starting to move towards him. Such a huge concentration would most likely kill him if it didn't do something worse. Max held out the dark blade and the lag began to be sucked into his sword. The dark saber vibrate, Max barely able to hold on to its power anymore, then he turned and let the lag off in one massive blast away from the platform.

Looking back Max saw a small little machine left behind, most likely the central processor of the system. Picking it up a beam of information was shot into his head. He thought, "Analysis: Damage to this unit: 99.9%. Damage to Divergent Maximum Evil: Unknown. Damage to Environment: Unknown. Recommended action: Initiate self-destruct sequence in attempt to destroy Maximum Evil."

Max pulled out a town portal scroll and read it out loud. A portal appeared beneath him on the floor of the platform and he jumped through it as a huge explosion occurred in the battle.net.

Lord Cool and Dolt both shook their fists in the air three times.

Lord Cool said, "Doesn't rock beat rock?"

Dolt said, "No, rock ties with rock."

"My God," said Elsie. "Neither of you are ever going to win if you both keep picking rock over and over. We've already wasted three hours here. Let's just move on."

Lord Cool pulled a little plastic barrel that read, "Lord of the Barrels" from his backpack and said, "I've got a barrel of monkeys. Do you want to see who can get the most for Sugar's love."

"How do you play this game?" asked Dolt.

Stupidhead the Weak and Evette returned from their hike. Stupidhead said, "Our they finished yet?"

Elsie said, "No, how did your scouting go?"

Evette said, "Ze strangest zing 'appened on our 'ike. An evil spirit, which I did not see, attempted to enter my body. I was only saved by ze brave Stupided who zew 'imself upon me and quickly zielded all ze parts of my body ze spirit tried to enter. My bosom, my vagina, and my buttocks were all at risk."

Suddenly a barrel full of monkeys came flying at the three and Dolt screamed, "You cheated, I saw you take that monkey from my pile!"

CowLord found himself surrounded by Pikachu's without any hope of survival. Their electric attacks were slowly eating away at the systems in his suit, and they were too strong in numbers for him to have any shot of completely destroying them with spells alone.

Then the room filled with cows which quickly began battling the mice pokemon. CowLord said, "Thank God. My cows have come to save me!"

One of the cows turned to him and said, "Save you betrayer, the one who serves with the dark mage Stupidhead. We've come to destroy you."

The cows began to stampede over CowLord. CowLord blasted the first few and was going to attempt retreat when he saw CowLad being held prisoner. CowLord flew through the air to him and said, "DON'T FEAR COWLAD, COWLORD WILL SAVE YOU!"

As CowLord finished untying the ropes, CowLad cast Firebull and sent him flying backwards. He said, "Save me, ha. I'm the new CowLord in these parts. You're now an obsolete version. If you surrender now and hand over the battle armor I'll allow you to live."

CowLord looked up and said, "NEVER BETRAYER!"

Then, at once, both shouted, "COWLORD FEARS NOTHING!"

The Adversary felt a sudden rush of energy flow through him. Something had breached the Boojum's seal on this universe, but what he was not sure. All he could tell was that it was something of immense power and instability which was feeding him. Archmage Suave walked in and the Adversary said, "What do you want now Suave."

Suave pulled up a Pikachu and said, "These things are all over the dungeon sir. They breed like mice. We tried exterminating them at first, but as soon as we start killing them they seem to be replaced in even greater number. I know you were looking for something to replace the tribbles now that they seem to have disappeared, and these things might serve nicely."

"Very good Suave," said the Adversary. "However currently my power is not whole. But recently something has happened that seems to be increasing my strength. Very soon it may become a viable option."

A town portal opened twenty feet above Lut Golien and Maximum Evil fell through it. He hit the ground hard and checked to make sure he hadn't lost his grip on the dark saber. It was still there. He was tired of all this. He was betrayed by the Adversary and had been killed one too many times through out this whole fiasco. They'd thought they'd beaten him, but not one of them understood the true power that evil possessed. Now they would all pay for that mistake. He was back in his old body, and he had the dark saber. Lord Cool would die, the Adversary would die, that fool mage Stupidhead the Weak would die, Sugar would
die, and that damned barbarian Dolt Lungren would die. This entire world would be brought to its knees by the power of Maximum Evil. But first some preparations had to be made.

Max looked up and saw the Lut Golien sorcerers' guild in front of him. Things were working out perfectly. He knew what was inside, and he knew how easy it would be to just take it. He picked himself back up to his feet and walked inside. The screams of dying mages echoed through the city.

Meanwhile, Minimum Good ran through the church with Sugar over his shoulder. This just wasn't right. Things weren't right. He didn't seem much like Maximum Evil all over. He could do the killing thing and all, but his stomach wasn't taking too well to it. And he was pretty sure Maximum Evil had possessed a set of powers which despite all efforts Minimum Good couldn't tap into. He so much wanted to just put Sugar down and give her a make-over. But he couldn't. Sugar didn't like that in a man. She wanted a super macho killing machine like Maximum Evil by her side, and that's what he'd have to be.

CowLad screamed, "MILK WAVE," as a wave of milk came towards CowLord. CowLord yelled, "CHEESE CURSE" and quickly turned the attack into solid cheese which fell to the ground.

CowLad said, "DO YOU GIVE UP NOW OLD MAN!"

CowLord said, "I'LL NEVER SURRENDER COWLORD. NOT TO MY OWN PUPIL!"

CowLad said, "IT LOOKS AS IF THE PUPIL IS NOW THE MASTER!

The two yelled at once, "COWLORD FEARS NOTHING," and returned to battle.

Tied up to a wooden pole, Evette said, "Why do I have to be tied up 'ere."

"Because," said Lord Cool. "Max is most likely going to tie Sugar up to a poll when he settles down, and we have to plan out our exact actions. OK, we need someone to play the role of Maximum Evil."

"You look a lot like him," said Dolt. "Why don't you play the part?"

"Good idea," said Lord Cool. "Stupidhead, you play me. Elsie play Stupidhead. And Deathspit and Dolt will play themselves. OK, everyone got there roles down?"

"I guess," said Elsie.

Lord Cool said, "Ha ha ha. You've come into my chambers you... you... you... idiots. Now prepare to face the... the... the... sword of Lord Cool, I mean Maximum Evil."

"OK, what do you want done now," asked Dolt.

"Well first Sugar should confess her love for me. Evette?"

"Hey," screamed Dolt. "It should be me she confesses her love too."

"I won the scrabble game," whined Lord Cool.

"Duper is not a word, Stupidhead said so," yelled Dolt.

Elsie interupted and said, "Skip over the love confession. Let's just get this over with already."

Lord Cool said, "Maybe Stupidhead should try casting fireball on him. Elsie?"

Elsie said, "But I don't know how to cast fireball."

"Here, let me help," said Stupidhead. Lord Cool ducked as a fireball flew over his head then grazed Evette's hair. Evette screamed, "'elp, my 'air is on fire."

Lord Cool got up and said, "I don't want to be Maximum Evil anymore.

You want to switch with me Dolt?"

Minimum Good appeared with Sugar on his shoulder and said, "Maybe I should play the part of Maximum Evil."

Lord Cool jumped into Dolt's arms and screamed, "Oh no, he's come back for me."

Stupidhead the Weak cast a fireball straight at Minimum Good that sent him flying into the corner. Mini said, "Ow, that really hurt. I have a low pain threshold. Please don't hurt me anymore."

Elsie said, "Should we trust him, or is this a trick."

Lord Cool said, "He looks harmless."

Dolt said, "Then get out of my arms already."

As Lord Cool jumped off Evette yelled, "Somebody please untie me already. My 'air is on fire."

Was this it for Maximum Evil? Could Minimum Evil really be nothing more than a cheap copy of the original. He had none of Max's power, that was true. And he didn't seem quite as evil as Max, nor was he able to handle pain quite as well. But he had to be Maximum Evil. It was the only way to win fair Sugar's love.

Minimum Good stood up and said, "Maximum Evil lives once more!" Then he picked up Sugar and sliced Dolt in the Stomach as he left.

Lord Cool and Deathspit ran after him saying, "He's getting away."

Elsie grabbed the pole Evette was on and wielding it like a sword headed in their direction.

Stupidhead asked Dolt if he was all right. Dolt said, "No biggie, he got me with the broad side of the sword. Go after them, I'll catch up."

Minimum Good ran until he found himself at a chasm in the church. He heard Lord Cool and Elsie catching up to him and he didn't know what to do. The chasm was too deep to jump down, and too wide to jump across.

Maximum Evil would know what to do, wouldn't he? Maximum Evil would fight them, that's what he'd do. Minimum Good dropped Sugar on to the ground and drew his sword again awaiting his foes.

Lord Cool's sword came down on Minimum Good and the two fiercely fought. Then suddenly a wooden pole with Evette on the end came at Mini and his sword parried it right below Evette's neck. Evette said, "What are you doing Elsie. You're going to kill me."

Elsie swung the wooden pole at Minimum Good again and the evil twin ducked. Unable to reverse the force mid-swing the pole hit Lord Cool and carried him over the chasm edge. Lord Cool hung on to Evette's breasts for his life.

Minimum Good ran over and slashed Elsie across her legs. Suddenly her thies gave out and left her kneeling on the ground. All she could do now was hold on to the pole in an attempt to save Evette and Lord Cool.

Minimum Good turned towards her, hoping to lob off her head with one hit of his sword. Then three fireballs came after him, one right after another. He stepped to the side, barely dodging them. The last one was followed by a barbarian screaming, "DOLT LUUUUNGREN!"

Evette yelled, "Stop squeezing my bosom. You're 'urting me now."

Lord Cool just squeezed tighter, knowing that if he let go he would fall down the dark chasm, and probably die in the process. Then Evette's shirt started to rip at the seam. Lord Cool found himself hanging on the front of Evette's shirt, which was quickly being torn apart and leaving her naked chest exposed. Lord Cool tried with all his might to pull himself up and said, "Must...cop...one...last...feel...before...certain...death."

Evette said, "I told you, I'm ok wiz ze man to man love."

Minimum Good parried Dolt's blow and caught the axe on his sword in the process. Mini seized the opportunity and picked Dolt up with his free arm, while pulling a muscle in the process, and threw him into the chasm.

Dolt was lucky enough to land right on top of Evette's pole, with his hands clasped around her chest as another lucky bonus. Lord Cool yelled, "Hey, that's my feel!"

With a sudden burst of strength Lord Cool pulled himself up and punched Dolt in the face. Dolt, who was already disoriented and hadn't quite come to after the throw, ended up being thrown off by the force, and was barely able to grab a handle on Evette's pants before falling off. Then Evette's pants started to tear. Evette yelled, "'Elp me Elsie, Zey're tearing my clothes off now."

Elsie wished she could do something in the whole situation, but she was stuck right now. As Lord Cool and Dolt lifted themselves up the pole started to break a little under all the weight. Dolt pulled out his axe and said, "Let's settle this right here."

Lord Cool said, "Fine with me."

"No," screamed Elsie. "You have to come back. The pole's going to break under all your weight."

As the two began fighting the board broke more, and Evette screamed, "Please 'elp me Elsie."

Dolt brought his axe down on Lord Cool, who jumped back in a dodge.

The axe cut into the wood, and the pole was ready to give. Lord Cool reached for Dolt and screamed, "Help me!"

Dolt grabbed him and tried to pull him over, but when the pole broke in two Lord Cool's weight pulled Dolt down with him. Lord Cool, Evette, and Dolt all fell down the dark chasm.

Minimum Good stood at the edge of the chasm and said, "It looks like it's just you and me now old man."

With a flick of his wrist Stupidhead cast Telekinesis, and sent Minimum Good falling down the chasm. Stupidhead knelt by Sugar for a few minutes, then came over to Elsie. He said, "Are you all right."

"The bastard cut the wires in my leg," said Elsie. "I can't move them at all right now. Kind of like a paralysis. And I can't do anything to fix them. If we can find Dr. Bruce, he can hopefully fix them. How's Sugar?"

Stupidhead just said, "She's dead now."

Chaos, Bruce, Biff, and Jay came to Lut Golien, only to find the entire town had been slaughtered. Dead bodies laid all over the street, and the guild was now burning in flame. They'd come to a ghost town.

Bruce said, "It looks as if some one has beaten us in the acquisition of the orb. Hopefully the Adversary has it, and CowLord will come across it in time."

"I'm a little confused," said Jay. "How exactly can these orbs be used to defeat the Adversary?"

"You'd need an elementary understanding of the DUH theory in order to comprehend our method, and I'm afraid that I'm not the most appropriate person to convert information into layman's terms."

Suddenly the ghost of Lifesuck appeared and said, "Then please allow me to explain the DUH theory. The DUH theory basically is the theory which allows all magic in the known universes to operate. In order to understand it fully, I'm going to have to explain the theory of alternate universes to you."

"A universe consists of three dimensions. This allows for vision in three dimensions, both length, width, and height can be seen. A line is one dimension, a square two, and a cube would be three. Now there is of course a fourth dimension, and a fifth, and even a billionth dimension.

However none of these other dimensions can be seen by the naked eye. But every three dimensions makes up another universe that lives alternate to your own. Some of these universes are very much like this one, with another Biff and another Chaos, and some are very different with spaceships or mini-malls."

"Now between these universes lies a passage way often times referred to as the battle.net. This passage way allows passage to the alternate universes, as well as encompassing all of them. With in the battle.net are two primary forces known most commonly as the Boojum and the Cursor.

The Boojum embodies order, and the Cursor chaos. Both are entangled in a constant struggle, but being of equal strength they always end up in a stalemate. This struggle is what allows life in the battle.net."

"In the Boojum's perfect setting, everything becomes a stagnation. Constant balance, constant order. In the Cursors perfect setting, nothing is stable. Time and space cease to hold any meaning, and life birth and everything in between happens at once, many times over for the same individual. Only when a balance is struck between the two can life exist. And this balance is referred to as D = U where D stands for the chaotic force of the Cursor, and U stands for the order force of the Boojum."

"But everything isn't that simple, since there are divergences in certain areas of the battle.net. In that case H comes into play. Where the Boojum is more powerful, D -H = U + H, and where the Cursor is more powerful D + H = U - H. H being the actual amount of disbalance in the particular universe. But if all universes are accounted for, all Hs will cancel each other out and leave us with D = U. If that were to change, the entire battle.net would be destroyed."

"Now here's how magic plays in. Most people who are born are equally as chaotic and they are ordered. But a few have a bit more of the Boojum in them, and a few have a bit more of the Cursor in them. Whenever such a person is born, a person possibly many universes away is born as their evil twin. As unbalanced as one person is in one area, the other is in another area. My evil twin comrades were not a creation of the Adversary, but rather pulled from another universe where we all existed beforehand."

"But back to balance. A lack of balance would normally mean a person's death. But to counter-act the unbalanced area, either the Boojum portion or the Cursor portion, a person's body creates mana. This does not make a person a spell-caster by any stretch, but it does make potentially magically capable along with other factors."

"Magic is nothing more than upsetting the balance between the Boojum and the Cursor in your world. A spell like Fireball creates fire where none is supposed to be, and thus draws upon the power of the Cursor.

Spells which counter or destroy other spells call upon the power of the Boojum. Whenever a spell is used in one universe though, an alternative universe receives a spell of opposite effect, thus D = U all over."

"After a spell has ended a person's mana in their body will slowly start to regenerate. Because of magic's dependencies on a person's spell casting ability, no spell can ever last forever. It's an impossibility.

Only the Cursor and the Boojum have the power to do something like that since mana will eventually return from the spell to the caster. However if a person were to expend too much of their mana, they would find themselves a greatly disbalanced person. The shock alone would probably kill them, and a great number of odd effects could take place to their bodies and minds if they survived. My guess is this is what happened to both Maximum Evil and Conjurer Ichabod at some point, but that is only a theory of mine and there is as of yet no proof either way on the subject."

"Now with that in mind, something appeared in the battle.net originating in this universe that caused the Cursor to have a huge upperhand on the battle.net. Something of that magnitude could destroy the entire battle.net, and the Boojum has been fighting to regain his rightful place ever since it first occurred. The entire battle.net would have been destroyed long ago, but the forces of nature decided to intervene. Much mana was gathered and used to try to squelch the
Cursor's lead and return to D = U through out. It worked to, and now D = H again. Unfortunately this mana created another sentient life-form. The mana formed itself into the one known as the Adversary. The Adversary feeds off of the Cursor gaining a lead in the D = U formula through out the battle.net. Everytime this happens more mana is pumped into him, and thus he becomes more powerful. He currently plans to overthrow the Boojum and take his place as a force of the battle.net. Unfortunately he plans to do so by allowing the Cursor to destroy the Boojum and then taking his place, which would mean that in the between time all life as we know it would be destroyed."

"Now the orbs are a very odd entity. An ancient artifact made long ago in an attempt to increase a person's magical power, although it didn't work. Their primary job is to suck the mana straight out of inbalanced objects in nature. The effects of this on a human can cause anything from becoming somewhat more sexually active for a period of time or even completely altering a person's memory and making them more susceptible to suggestion. Of course these are only temporary until the mana is finally replenished."

"Once together though they can conceivably suck and hold an infinite amount of mana indefinitely if needed. Unfortunately the mana can never be extracted from the device, thus its failure in what it was meant to do, but it will leak out over time. The Adversary is complete mana, therefor the orb would be able to contain him indefinitely. Not only that, but he would only be let out little by little as the mana died away, and in a few centuries he would become powerless to hold a conscience mind any more, and would cease to exist entirely. I'm supposed to be dead, so I have to go now."

Jay said, "I found that explanation highly informative.

"As did I," said Biff. "In fact I feel intellectually awakened. I know understand so many confusing things. It's all so simple to me now."

"I must admit," said Dr. Bruce, "Lifesuck really has a knack for explaining complicated things."

"Ohh," said Chaos. "I just got a feeling like my brother has again returned to this universe."

"You mean your brother the banished bane of the Boojum?" asked Dr. Bruce.

"Yes," said Chaos. "Either that or those tacos we ate are giving me indigestion."

"Biff like taco," said Biff. "Biff hungry now. Biff want more taco."

Dr. Bruce said, "So much for Biff's higher intellect."

A little mage found himself sitting up on a mountain alone. He was confused, along with being a scrawny, whiny, impotent man. He said, "Why has Bozofeet been sent here? What is Bozofeet supposed to do?"

The little man looked around, then decided he better head for the nearest town to tell them of the greatness that is Bozofeet.

There is no Chapter 32, it has been eliminated in memory of Stephen's leaving, and will from this day forward be remembered in ART lore as the lost chapter of Collaborative Carnage.

The plan to rescue Sugar was a disaster even with Stu tagging along. Dolt and LC's competitiveness got the worst of them, and the two fell to an unknown fate down a dark and deep chasm along with Evette who's tied to a pole and has had most of her clothing ripped off and her hair set on fire. Minimum Evil, Minimum Good, Mini-E, Maximum Evil, or whatever the hell you want to call him fell down the same Chasm. Sugar is dead, and Stu is left on the top with Elsie who's now had her legs paralyzed and is hoping Dr. Bruce can help her.

The real Maximum Evil OTOH has been resurrected, and has destroyed Lut Golien and taken one of the orbs in an effort to destroy the Adversary, along with just about everyone else in the story. Most likely that'll mean his path will cross with the heroes who also have one of the orbs. CowLord is beneath Tristram now trying to fight his way to Suave and one of the orbs, but he's been overcome first by Pikachus then by cows. Now he's fighting his old student Wirt who wants to take his place as CowLord and has his eyes set on the Terrain battle suit.

Chaos and company have reached Lut Golien, only to find it a ghost town. Most likely they'll head back to the others, but that's for Steve to deiced now. Lifesuck showed up, or his ghost anyways, and gave a brief summery on DUH theory and exactly how the orbs are going to be used to defeat the Adversary.

Solo is still heading for the sisters of the sightless eye.

Bozofeet has appeared in the Universe, and as of yet not much is known of what will come of that.

Steve has had sex with a pink elephant, Drew Carry, and George W. Bush. Vengeance is served.

Well, it's up to Steve now to come up with the next chapter.