Did you know that if you go to AltaVista and search for Tales of Crossdressing, Tales of the Boojum is listed at number 25 out of over 300,000 sites? Well, apparently somebody out there does. Obviously, that person probably didn't find what he was looking for here. So, in a belated attempt to meet the needs of my cross-dressing readers, Tales of the Boojum is proud to present...

Excerpts from....

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"Sometimes Dumptruk just like to feel pretty."

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful

March of the Cross-Dressing Barbarians

We're manly men with softer sides
You won't find us inside of Jarulf's guides

We rarely bathe, we're often stinky
But on Saturdays we wear something slinky

We aren't agrarians....
We're cross-dressing barbarians!

We deal death and take our lumps
We like our armor and matching pumps.

We like our swords and clubs and flails
We like to brawl and do our nails

We aren't librarians....
We're cross-dressing barbarians!

We're dragon slayers and slayers in drag
We wear Wonderbras so we won't sag!

We laugh at Fireballs and Stone Curses
We pack our gear inside our purses

We aren't seminarians....
We're cross-dressing barbarians!

When there's a battle, we're always ready
with our axe and peekaboo teddy

And woe to you, you will regret
if you cut in line at Victoria's Secret

We don't play accordions....
We're cross-dressing barbarians!

We're lords of adventure-fantasies
in our lacy bras and pantasies.

We aren't Maid Marions....
We're not Hungarians....
We're cross-dressing barbarians!

Who are you calling a Barbie?

Read Dumptruk's Guide to Crossdressing for Barbarians and find out:

  • Where succubi get those wonderful boots

  • How to get blood stains out of silk

  • How to get ichor stains out of lace

  • How to get acid stains out of your delicates

  • How stiletto heels can be your secret weapon in combat

  • What colors best complement combat in...

    • the Church

    • the Catacombs

    • the Hive

    • the Caverns

    • the Crypt

    • Hell

    • Ogden's Tavern

  • How to get Griswold to sell you armor from his 'special collection'

  • Lachdanan's favorite veil (and it's not the Veil of Steel!)

Back to Dumptruk's Home Page

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Last update: Tuesday, April 20, 2004 06:16 AM
Tales of The Boojum.com and all the stories and text contained herein are 1999 - 2004 by Steven Dong.
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